I have been working on an obituary, a memorial and a eulogy. I dipped my toes in the nostalgia of my hometown, Valparaiso, Indiana. Old friends told great stories. Together my friend Krista and I revisited the parts of childhood we shared. I went through old slides and photos of my father. Still I am working to be present.
In the past week my life has been turned upside down or bouleversé as my darling Sandrine put it. When my mother called me and asked me to get on a plane- quickly -I called friends to help get me to the airport, buy a ticket, and get things in order. I didn’t expect Kevin to join me. I knew he was scheduled to work all day on Saturday, and I was so accustomed to doing things, especially taking care of my family, on my own. Kevin made other plans. He (with the gracious support of Brian and Brooke) got in his truck and drove all night. Kevin was with us- sleeping on the dreadful hospice pull out couches, running for Starbucks, calling the funeral home, and sitting with my dad. I am so grateful for my partner.
Among our visitors, Barbara and Ed have been married for over fifty years. Ed was a good friend to my dad and he shared the following: marriage is rarely 50-50. Sometimes it may be 90-10. Sometimes it’s less work and sometimes it’s more.
Thank you for giving me 90 percent this week, Kev.